La Femme's Top Five Scary Movies

A list of top five scary movies from a person who hates horror movies and actively avoids is kind of an oxymoron, but here it goes... These are five movies that freak me out.

The only Leatherface I can bear to look at. 

1.  The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (Tobe Hooper, 1974):  Technically I have seen this movie the whole way through, but it was such a traumatic experience for me, I blocked it out and can only remember the vaguest of details.  No matter, I will not be watching this one again for this post!  The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is a typical horror film in its plot: a bunch of young people go into the country (one reason I don't live in the country) and despite all the warning signs (freaky people who work at a slaughterhouse telling you scary things, an abandoned house, etc.) they keep going and end up at one of the helpless youths old family home. I think you know what happens next.  Everything about Leatherface is freaking terrifying: from his mask to his slaughterhouse apron to his aforementioned chainsaw  (seriously, I made K put that picture up because there was no way I was google imaging this movie).  Leatherface, unlike a Freddy or Jason, seems more human - you see him stumbling about, lumbering, and that makes him even more unhinged and nightmarish. At times he seems frustrated, or sad, or upset and you can feel that energy.  Additionally, unlike so many slasher films, there is artistry in the horror and although the story is over the top, Hooper uses gritty and grimy colors and atmosphere to keep a level of realism that only enhances the terror.  A sense of dread pervades the film from the very first shot, when a terrifying voice tells you that this macabre tale is true.   I was on edge from that moment and could barely watch even through my fingers covering my face. Highlighting the terror of isolation in the country, where no one can help you and you don't know who you can trust, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is truly one of the most intense movies every made.  Plus, the final shot is one of the best ever.

2.  Black Christmas (Bob Clarke, 1974) :  Bob Clarke directed A Christmas Story, one of the sweetest movies of all time.  He also directed Black Christmas, one of the scariest movies I have ever seen  (I only agreed to watch it because K told me it wasn't that scary.  I think he regrets that now when I force him to wake up in the middle of the night because I am freaked out).  The film takes place at a sorority house at Christmas time; the girls start getting heavy breathing phone calls from a mysterious caller, and soon one of them goes missing.  The voice on the other end of the phone starts off as a pervert moaning, but what really unnerved me was when the moaning turned to screaming and high pitched voices.  This is a more traditional slasher film, a "the calls are coming from inside the house" kind of story.  But even though you know from the very first call that the calls must be coming from inside the house, the movie is still able to build an incredible amount of suspense.   What I liked so much about this movie was the sense of dread and the fear of not being safe in your own home that the movie capitalizes on.  Just because the viewer knows the call is coming from upstairs doesn't mean the girls do, and Clarke uses the set to great advtange, setting it in an old Victorian home that at once seems cozy and creepy.  I also like the touches of the Christmas season, the supposedly happiest time of the year, which is also the darkest and can be the most lonely.  Black Christmas is a creepy little movie, that gets under your skin when you least expect it.

3.  Let the Right One In (Tomas Alfredson, 2008):  K and I saw this movie at the Seattle Film Festival, one warm June day.  Everything about the movie is creepy: the story, the characters and the setting.  Telling the story of a sad (and maybe a little creepy, he cuts out stories in the paper about grisly murders), bullied little boy Oskar growing up with a single mother in the suburbs of Stockholm, Sweden, who meets a new neighhbor, Elie, a little girl who isn't all that she seems, Let the Right One In puts a new spin on the vampire genre.  Oskar and Elie start a tentative friendship (she is only out at night, of course) while her mysterious guardian, Hakan, goes about trying to procure her some food.  The scene in which Hakan drains the blood of a victim is chilling and striking and while this movie doesn't have a lot of traditional scares, it has a lot of shocking and unsettling moments.  Let the Right One In is both a sweet love story between two misunderstood love story and the tale of a monster, who do anything she can to survive.  I think that Tomas Alfredson uses the darkness of the night and brightness of the ever present snow to great advantage, it is beautifully shot but incredibly isolating and creepy.  I am a sucker for subtle performances by children and  Kare Hedebrant and Lina Leandersson both do some amazing work.  Plus, that ending.  It's a shocker.  

4.  Dogville (Lars Von Trier, 2003):  Ok this is a weird one, I know, and an esoteric and art house choice (not unexpected by me, at all, right?)  but it is the only movie on this list that I watched and literally woke up later that night screaming.  Something in this movie touched a very deep nerve and I can't write a list of scary movies without including it.  I suppose this movie is about the fear of humanity, of what the base nature of people really is. Like so many horror films, the story is simple: Grace (Nicole Kidman) is on the run from the mob and ends up in the small town of Dogville.  The townspeople, at first, agree to help her in return for her helping out around the town.  Eventually she becomes a slave to everyone in the town, in every sense of the word.  Not one of the residents has any sympathy for her and when her father eventually tracks her down, the decision she makes will shock the viewer.  Director Lars Von Trier has never had a particularly rosy view of humanity (chaos reigns, anyone?) but Dogville is downright horrifying in its view of the world.  Von Trier also sets the film as a stage play, with the buildings of Dogville represented by chalk outlines on the ground.  Apparently, Von Trier had Kidman in tears nearly every day on set, but the raw vulnerability, anger, and fear she gives is overwhelmingly powerful.  Dogville may very well be the hardest movie to watch on this whole list, and perhaps even the scariest.

5.  The Omen (Richard Donner, 1976):  The Omen may not have jump scares, but it remains one of the creepiest movies I have ever seen.  Starring Gregory Peck as Robert Thorn, a man who realizes his son may be the spawn of the devil, The Omen is a story of biblical proportions about the lengths a father will go to defeat evil.  Despite not being religious at all, of all villains, the devil has always scared me the most.  The idea of an omnipotent evil presence that cannot be stopped is terrifying.  Thorn, a powerful diplomat, secretly arranges for the adoption of an orphan when his child dies at birth.  Once the adopted son Damien gets older, strange things start to happen, including his nanny hanging herself at his birthday party before ominously saying "It's all for you, Damien", which is possibly the most terrifying moment for me in the whole movie.  Thorn becomes more and more convinced his son is evil and he is powerless to stop him.  The movie may be a little campy and very much of its age, but it also builds dread and menace expertly.

Let the Right One In also happens to be on Netflix Streaming, so if you are looking for something scary to watch tonight, check it out!

Julie

La Femme in New England

Dartmouth College.

New England.  The very words bring to mind steeples, leaves, and the Kennedy's.  Old money families and seersuckers.  This is what I expected when K and I spent three days in rural New England this July. I found New England both to be exactly this and completely the opposite... it surprised and delighted me in the few days I was there and I can't wait to go back (hopefully when it isn't so freaking hot, how do all those people live with that humidity!) Oh yeah, and unlike all other trips we have taken, this one was for more than just pleasure.  It was to see K's younger sister ("KE") get married!!

Bartlett for America!!!

K and I wanted to savor all the Americana we could and vowed to visit a couple small towns in both New Hampshire and Vermont. Our first stop (right after getting off a red eye) was Manchester, New Hampshire.  We had plans to wander around the town and see the capital and then have a nice lunch.  That didn't really happen.  Instead we we strolled around for five whole minutes (and took some very important #jedbartlett hastagged instagrams).  We were both so tired from the red eye that we admitted defeat and headed to a late breakfast before heading up to Vermont.

The neighboring towns of Hanover, New Hampshire and Norwich, Vermont got more attention from us.  Hanover is like Main Street USA in Disneyland, with its J. Crew wearing townspeople and perfectly manicured Ivy League Campus of  Dartmouth College anchoring it.  The campus at Darmouth is idyllic and we got a tour from alumni, KE!  It was awesome to walk around and admire the beautiful old buildings, a cemetery and visit the old library. K and I had two lovely meals in this gorgeous, if slightly bougie town (which means I love it) and could have spent even more time relaxing in this little almost too perfect,  David Lynchian perfect place. We went to The Market Table for a pre wedding brunch (and mimosas, duh).  The Market Table is  kind of place I love to discover when traveling: bright, airy, and modern, with fresh, local food (and, just as importantly, a liquor license).   We also went to a basement tapas restaurant after the wedding for little snacks and more cocktails.  Norwich was even sweeter, just a few blocks of old churches, a town hall, a hotel, and a few shops and restaurants: they were even having the most charming, most charming weekend summer fair that I had ever seen, pure Americana: carnival games, rides and junk food!

Seriously. Is this real life??

Southern Vermont and New Hampshire can really only be described with superlatives about how lush, verdant, and fecund it is.  Rolling hills, pastoral fields, and magical forests are the norm.  And KE's home and the surrounding area was no exception. She and her husband live on what I, with my limited rural vocabulary, would call a farm, although it technically isn't as there aren't crops or livestock.  They live in a charming cabin-style home on a huge plot of land, replete with a pond and vegetable garden.  I couldn't stop taking pictures and exclaiming how beautiful and green and untouched the landscape was (you'd think I wasn't from the Evergreen State!)   After helping (and by helping, I mean I took pictures and K took a work call) them put up the tent for the wedding the next day, K and I and headed back to the hotel for pre-funk cocktails, and we later atteneded a lovely rehearsal dinner at KE's in-laws (where again I gawked at the greenery and wore completely unsensible shoes for the second time that day.) KE's friends and in-laws were so welcoming and friendly to us, and I loved getting to spend the evening talking to her and her fiancee ("E") and see a little slice of their lives.  K and I felt completely at ease as afternoon flowed into evening and we headed back in the darkest dark I had ever seen to our hotel (why the hell are there no street lights on the freeway??).

This is where KE lives.  Pond and barn and all!

A wedding is always a lovely and joyous occasion, but even more so when it is someone close to your or your family.  KE and E had a short but heartfelt ceremony, during which she wore her Mom's wedding dress altered from the typical 80's style to become a short, adorable dress, perfect for the rustic, sunny day. The mix of guests was refreshing, fun and eclectic: you had the formal bridesmaids, the guy in a kilt, people in jeans and suits and everything in between.  There was even a couple of people channeling my East Coast preppy fantasy, who K and I nicknamed Chet and Brock!  I, of course, dressed flashy and nouveau riche, as Simon Doonan would say, but what was so great was the come-as-you-are attitude of everyone there; it didn't matter if you were in a suit or a cowboy hat, everyone was there to have fun and celebrate the happy couple.  It was romantic, silly, and a truly low key day. KE was the happiest and most stress-free bride I have ever seen and her happiness radiated throughout her whole family. We celebrated with BBQ, salads, and a whole roasted pig (!), not to mention some killer sangria. K's grandma sat at our table like a regular Joan Crawford, with huge sunglasses and wearing all black.  She only drinks sparkling wine and had a special bottle all for herself which she didn't want to share with anyone!  Readers, I wanted to get a picture for you, but I couldn't figure out how to get it without her knowing.  She was fabulous and basically my idol.   After a long, leisurely afternoon (once people started jumping in the pond, I knew it was time for us to go before K did the same thing in his suit… he did have a lot of beer!). K and I headed back to Hanover for a late dinner at the above mentioned tapas bar before crashing at the hotel (and discovering Hollywood Game Night, the best show to watch while drinking EVER!).

I am already planning my outfits (think New England prep meets Jackie Kennedy meets English countryside realness) for a future trip to see the landscape turned orange and red in the fall.  I can't wait.

Julie