Las Vegas was not originally on our itinerary. We planned to go from Palm Springs to Flagstaff, Arizona, with a stop at the Grand Canyon. But honestly, I am not a nature girl and our dogs are definitely not nature dogs and K and I figured we would spend maybe an hour or two at the Grand Canyon before one of us would say (yes, probably me) “I’m too hot, my feet hurt” and Rufus our thirteen pound terrier would have walked about 20 minutes tops before wanting to quit. K is a casual MMA fan and a not so casual Conor McGregor fan and when he realized that he would be fighting in Vegas during our road trip and that we could make a side trip to see him, he was thrilled. Then we looked at the tickets left and I didn’t want to sell a kidney. But we decided to just take the side trip anyway since neither of us had ever been to Vegas and it would be much farther away from Virginia. Plus, a city built on drinking and gambling and glitter? Sounds right up my alley.
So here we go, K and J’s 48 hours in Vegas with two dogs.
First of all, don’t take your dogs to Vegas, ever. I mean maybe if you have one or two tiny little guys it would be fine, but don’t take a dog you can’t pick up, because it is a nightmare. K and I stayed at The Paris and I had no idea how massive it would be or how far away our car would be from the lobby and the elevators. And how many people would look at you like a freak show when you are walking your forty pound dog who hates tile floors through the casino to go to the tiny patch of astro turf they call a dog area. And a scary guy in the parking stairwell with a gun in his holster might give you a dirty look. Once we made it through that gauntlet the first time, it got much easier and we figured out the best times of days to take them out. They also got an early morning walk down The Strip which they loved, but otherwise, they were pretty much stuck twenty stories up for two days. I will admit I had my first meltdown once we got to the room, telling K, “We can’t stay, we have to leave!” He talked me down and said, “What you need is a drink and you will feel better.”
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| This was after midnight, look how bright it is inside! |
So with that, we ventured out to The Strip. I have been lucky to travel to major cities all over the world and I have never felt more overwhelmed than I did in those first few moments in Vegas. The amount of people on a Saturday afternoon crossing the street from the Paris to the Bellagio was overwhelming. The people were a colorful crew, I saw bikinis(it wasn’t very sunny), shirtless guys in camo pants wanting to charge you to take a picture and have them hug you (nope, I’m good), people with selfie sticks, classy people, trashy people, old people, young people. There was even a guy dressed like Watler White in the biohazard suit the looked so much like Bryan Cranston I thought it was some kind of late night show stunt. And I though, “I hate this I want to go” while looking at a fake Eiffel Tower. I know this sounds incredibly snobby but if I can’t be honest here, where can I? It was so artificial and crowded and hot and I was hungry and I hated everything. Then K and I walked into the Belaggio and sat down at the cafe and ordered food, and I saw the ridiculous pool outside and I got a cocktail and he talked me down, like he always does. Also, I might have been hangry, maybe.
Once I was able to accept Vegas for what it was, and let loose and accept it as Disney for adults, I would have a great time. Just like Main Street USA is a fantasy of small town America, The Paris is a fantasy of France (you know, baguettes, Eiffel Tower, Breton stripes and tiny cute buildings. They forgot the dog poop but kept the cigarettes, but you can’t smoke inside restaurants in France anymore so even that is inauthentic! I kid the French because I love them so much) Once I got off my high horse and took it with the nature it was intended it was awesome, I almost let my snobbery get in the way of a good time.
K and I had dinner at Scarpetta in the Cosmopolitan overlooking The Strip that night and it was strangely beautiful. And we leant in to the luxury of the place and ordered bottled water which K drank in about a second and didn't realize. I paid twenty five dollars for pasta with tomato and loved it. We saw the drummer for the Foo Fighters on our way out holding court with three women (he really does have great hair). Then we headed to our hotel and had drinks and people watched and laughed because it is so bright in there it feels like daytime all the time. Then I played the Britney slot machine, and I was happy. Can we talk just for one second about the Britney Spears Slot Machine? It is the best, its like a huge arcade console you sit at with Britney Spears songs playing and lights and sounds and videos. If someone can figure out how to get me one at home, I would never stop playing.
The next day, Sunday, K and I headed to the very impressive Neon Light Museum, which is a large Neon Boneyard near the older part of Vegas. At the yard there is a huge collection of Neon signs from all of Vegas’ history. It’s basically Instagram Paradise. The tour guide was funny and informative about the different signs until the rain started going crazy about halfway through and we had to cut it short. So instead, K and I headed back to the strip, walked up to Italy (a.k.a The Venetian) and relaxed with the dogs until it was time for drinks.
The Cosmopolitan is what I imagined Vegas, or the best of Vegas to be. Glitzy, dark, lots of sparkles (and they had a Britney slot machine too!) and K and I had drinks in the stunning Chandelier Bar before heading back to dinner at Mon Ami Gabi at our hotel. The food we had was mostly pretty great over the two days we were in Vegas and the steak at Mon Ami Gabi was no exception. A waiter literally broke about 25 plates though in one fell swoop and that was by far the most memorable part of our evening.
And what of gambling? I hate to say it but we we were not winners, we put aside a small amount and came back with about $21.00. We tried, slots, poker and roulette but it was ultimately that Britney machine that gave us our final win. Vegas may be silly and overstuffed and indulgent, but we can all use a little silliness sometimes. As we rode the elevator upstairs, I smiled at K and said, “you were right. This was fun.”
Julie
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